HER
by lovely bloodcry
Summary: She missed her. That always spoke volumes. That always meant everything...especially when it shouldn't anymore. But this is her finale goodbye. And the start of something new. Pearl, Garnet, Lapis, Jasper, Peridot, Rose Pearlnet, Lapidot


I miss you.

 _I miss you._

 **I miss you**.

How could I not

 _I shouldn't_

 **I don't understand why**

It's been years

 _Months and months_

 **So many months**

Our time together keeps replaying over and over and over in my head

 _I can't erase it_

 **I can't stop it**

Don't get me wrong

 _I enjoyed it_

 **I.. I..**

I loved it

 _I hated it_

 **I can't figure it out**

I felt important

 _I felt powerful_

 **I felt nothing**

You gave me a new purpose

 _I let you have it all_

 **You destroyed me**

Is that why it's so hard

 _Is that why I want to hold on to you_

 **Is that why I desperately need you back**

I'm not functioning right

 _I can't seem to find my way_

 **Everything I do is wrong**

I've been getting better though

 _I keep trying_

 **Sometimes it feels like I'm back to my old self**

The wind blew rustling the grass, shuffling the sand, stirring the dust.

She took a deep breath and released it.

I know she's waiting

 _She's amazing_

 **Nobody else wants to stay**

I know how she feels

 _But I can't seem to make myself just get with the program and give her all of me_

 **I know that sounds a little... unbelievable coming from me but...**

I love her as well

 _I need her_

 **I just don't want another situation like you**

I don't want her to have all the control

 _But I don't want to control her_

 **I want to... to just be me and or them to be... them**

So I...

 _I keep living in the past_

 **I'm going to move on**

This is the last time

 _I don't want to feel this way anymore_

 **It's the only thing that makes since**

I'm not going to forget you

 _I don't think I could forget could_

 **I don't want you holding me down anymore so...**

She's hurting and I am the cause of it

 _I see it in her eyes and it's eating away at me_

 **Please...**

I want to be the reason she smiles so big her face looks like it might split

 _I want to be the reason she laughs without a care in the world_

 **Please...**

I won't be coming here anymore

 _This is just aiding in keeping us apart_

 **It feels good to be the one letting go this time**

Goodbye

 _I hope I never see you again until I no I mean until we both can handle it_

* * *

 **She stood up and walked to the entrance of the hole.**

* * *

She smiled when she heard someone walk up behind her.

"I had a feeling you would be here." A smooth deep voice spoke a couple feet away from her.

She stood up dusting herself off as she turned around. "Well you can out that feeling away for good after this." She said giving her a soft smile.

"Oh?" She asked shades disappearing with a flick of the wrist.

She laughed lightly and walked over taking her hand. "Yeah oh." She gave it a squeeze laughing as shock showed in all three eyes. "Well come on. I bet Steven is waiting for us." She tugged her towards the warp pad.

She nodded as they stepped on the warp pad. "Yeah I told him I would ask if you were ready to come back."

She brought their hands up and kissed her knuckles one by one. "I'm ready." She watched as it registered across the other face what she meant. Her smile grew as she saw tears begin to form in her eyes.

She laughed wiping away her tears. "I don't want Steven to see me crying and get worried."

She shook her head as the warp pad activated. "Yeah when we have other things to worry about him seeing." She laughed loud as a blush spread across the taller of the two face.

* * *

 _She stood up and flew back towards the barn. He wings were quiet but she knew she had been seen._

 _"You're back." A small voice said from the entrance of the was so unlike her. Like she was scared of the reaction she would get for acknowledging it._

 _She didn't like it. "Yeah." She said walking over._

 _"I thought you weren't coming back." She said glaring at the ground._

 _She stopped in front of her. "Why wouldn't I come back to my home?" She watched the other look back up and the smile that took over her face. "And since this is my home too. I think I should make it feel like it."_

 _She squealed running into the barn. She jumped into a pile a papers. "I've been working on some designs. And saving them if you ever changed your mind. I knew you just needed time." She said almost to quiet for her to hear._

 _She found her feet moving before she thought about it. "Thank you." She said putting her hand on the others head as she took a seat. "But I don't need anymore time." She avoided her eyes and picked up some papers looking through them._

 _"We can go with whatever you like." She said waiting for her to pick one of her ideas._

 _She shrugged throwing them up in the air and laughing when the other gasped. "It doesn't matter what we pick as long as we do it together." She said smiling at her._

* * *

 **"Even the place I was born is empty like me." She said looking around the gloomy place. She went back in her hole and curled in on herself. "I just want to go home or find a place close to it." She whispered into her knees.**


End file.
